EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

It’s been an “interesting” 10 days.  Everything from the beginning of five days of torrential downpour of rain leading up to the flooding here in Colorado.  In between, there was the trip to Virginia for a wedding that included historical site seeing and forever memories with family.  Coming home to the total devastation all around us but not affecting our home, being on a boil water restriction, to a 50 year high school reunion for Jon rounded out the ups and downs of our days.

A few words that come to mind over this time are: community, compassion, sadness, happiness, new journeys, new beginnings, disbelief, challenges, thankfulness, reflections, and so much more.  It’s been an emotional roller coaster but one where I have been able to watch and observe my own behaviors and those around me. 

Today I find myself more anxious, not as patient, and “out of sorts.”  Why is that?  I have so much to be grateful for and so many blessings in my life.  Then I reread my first two paragraphs.  Though I have been totally present with each day and each activity with so many wonderful memories, there is still that “haunting” feeling of so many people are hurting and there is so much to do to support one another.  What can I do?  How can I help?  We’re going out of town Wednesday to visit our son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter, Teagan.  I’m excited as it’s been almost two months since I’ve seen them, but that also means I can’t be here to do something.

It’s interesting how writing this out makes me begin to take control over that anxiousness, and I’m realizing I have been judging myself.  I’m NOT doing enough, others are doing more etc. etc. Negative, negative, negative.  Here’s where the metacognition (thinking about my thinking) has hit me between the eyes.  Remember…what you focus on expands.  (Jim Rohn)  What have I done to bring some comfort or encouragement or support to others?  How may I have added value to someone else’s life in the past 10 days?

My 83 year old aunt lost her car when the garage in her building was flooded, so I took her to get her hair done, we ran errands, and we had a coffee catch up time as she needed to “get away” from the frustrations of the water damage in her building.  At Panera Bread, I gave the manager $25 to pay for a flood victim who came into the restaurant, and I donated clothing to a consignment store that allowed flood victims to come in and get clothing for free. 

In addition, my sister-in-law and mother of the groom suffered a severe stroke 5 years ago. In a conversation with her, I was able to share with her how she is such an inspiration to me, her siblings, her children, and her grandchildren and to realize how much she contributes to all our lives.  Her sister, one daughter, and her husband were all there with each of us adding to a lively discussion. She commented later how much she appreciated the encouragement.  I recommended a book called ­The Present  by Spencer Johnson.  It’s a powerful book and one I would recommend to anyone. 

During that visit in Virginia, I focused on spending quality time with my three nieces and my nephew, the groom, listening to their stories of all that’s been in their lives lately. One niece is in her last year of residency in pediatric neurology (married with two children), drives two hours one way to the hospital in Boston, and was also in Boston when the Boston Marathon bombs went off.  Another niece has recently moved to a new location, has a new job as a preschool director, and her youngest son, 8 months, was born without an ear canal or ear drum.  She and her husband are amazing young people and this little boy is healthy and happy despite what some might term a disability.  Each one had their own trials and tribulations yet they are all positive, see the sunshine rather than the darkness, and are adding value to my life, their parents’ lives, their own children’s lives, and are making a difference in this world.  I am so proud of them all. 

What was my role what did I do?  I was an encourager, a listener, I was present with each conversation, and I enjoyed the times without judgment. I’m feeling a calmness come over me.  I’m realizing that though I still feel I need to do more, I have done some things, and I will continue to be present to see what is next.

Do You Believe in Luck?

Do you believe in luck?  Would you consider yourself a lucky or unlucky person?  Once again, we want to put ourselves into a box with a label.  I find myself saying things like…why bother to even put my name into the drawing, I never win anything.  Yet, I can always point to someone else who “seems to have all the luck.”

Richard Branson was asked if he felt like luck played a part in his success.  Read his answer, “Yes, of course, we are all lucky.  If you live in a free society, you are lucky.  Luck surrounds us every day; we are constantly having lucky things happen to us, whether we recognize it or not.  I have not been any more lucky or unlucky than anyone else.  The difference is when luck came my way, I took advantage of it.”

What a great response.  I have added to my list of gratitudes at the end of each day, the fact that I live in a free society and am able, as a woman, to pursue my dreams.  I have on a new pair of “glasses” to be sure I’m NOT taking things for granted such as living in this country and having the freedoms that we have.  I AM LUCKY.

Darren Hardy has this to say in his Compound Effect book, “we often hear that luck is when opportunity meets preparation, but that isn't enough.”  Darren added two other critical components to that word “luck.”

“The (Complete) Formula for Getting Lucky:

Preparation (personal growth) +

Attitude (belief/mindset) +

Opportunity (a good thing coming your way) +

Action (doing something about it) =

LUCK”

Here we go again….I need to take full responsibility for what has happened in my life – good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure…

The late Jim Rohn says, “The day you graduate from childhood to adulthood is the day you take full responsibility for your life….embrace the fact that you are freed by your choices, as long as you assume personal responsibility for them.  It’s time to make the choice to take control.”  No more blame, finger pointing, “poor me” attitude etc. etc. (nonresourceful feelings) Metacognition…be conscious of your decisions.

Jim also has said, “ What’s simple to do is also simple not to do.

The biggest difference between successful and unsuccessful people is…who’s willing to do what others are not willing to do?”  Vince Poscente talks about this in his book, The Ant and the Elephant.  There are many well known self development authors who are saying the same things, just different words.  Personally, when I finally got to the place I was ready to learn I’m “seeing” these common threads all around me.  (Isn't that the same as when I’m looking for a particular car, that particular car is all I see.  It’s not that there really are more of them, it’s because I’m alert to it.

Lucky?  YES, I AM!!  

CHOICES

Once again from Darren Hardy, “Everything in your life exists because you first made a choice about something.  Choices are at the root of every one of your results.  Each choice starts a behavior that over time becomes a habit.”  (It’s the elephant again – our subconscious)  “Choose poorly and you might find yourself back at the drawing board.”  Of course you also realize that not making a choice is also a choice.  It’s the choice of being passive to whatever comes your way.  Have you ever heard someone blame another person, their situation, lack of money, etc. etc.  Why is it so difficult for us to realize that WE are the ones in control of our lives?  When we point the finger at something else, we have three pointing back at us. Hmmm…

“We don’t intend to sabotage ourselves, but by not thinking about our decisions – weighing the risks and potential outcomes -  we find ourselves facing unintended consequences.”  We didn't mean to put on those extra 10 pounds, we didn't mean to have credit card debt to such a level, we didn't mean to let our marriage get to the point of divorce, but “often (if not always) those consequences are the result of a series of small, POOR choices.” These are the ones that come back to bite us.

“You have to be willing to take 100 percent responsibility for making your life work.  This concept could transform every area of your life.”  What if I owned all my choices?  I owned every way I chose to respond to a situation or conflict?  That’s a powerful thought.  My life is up to me.  I must hold myself accountable to everything I do and those I didn't do, or how I react to something that was done to me. 

Think about that for a minute.  How does that make you feel?  Excited? Scared?  Nervous? Anxious?  Is there a little voice on your shoulder already telling you that YOU don’t have that much control because remember all those things that have happened to you in the past?  What makes this any different for the future?  Or is that little voice on your shoulder ready to travel a whole new path like the Ant and the Elephant?

My experiences since working with the concepts Jim Britt teaches,  is that my life has changed.  My choices are better, my consistency is much better, but it’s all still a work in progress.  I’m more conscious of my words, actions feelings etc.  It’s fun, exciting, and I have seen a difference in all areas of my life.  The term is “metacognition” which is thinking about your thinking. There’s first my self awareness and then comes a consistent plan of action.  What do they say, it’s not practice makes perfect but perfect practice makes perfect.  Isn't that also why we call life a journey?  If we’re learning, growing, willing to change, and move forward being present each and every day then we can truly make a difference in ourselves. 

With all of my blogs, I would enjoy hearing your thoughts.  Have a great day!!